One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
