Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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