Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
