I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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