I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
