I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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