I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
