Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
