Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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