i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
