I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
