he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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