Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
