Apparently you make a good broom.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Quick, to the slutcave!
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
