I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
