He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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