We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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