at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
