I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
