We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize