whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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