when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I want to make a zoo with you.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My breath smells like gin and sadness
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
