I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
