so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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