I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
