I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
