We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
