Your dad touched me again.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
