Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
