I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
