why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I forgot how hot balto sounded
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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