I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize