.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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