The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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