i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So. Much. Porn.
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