yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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