the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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