I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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