My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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