READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
