omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
handjob tips. give me some.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
