I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
