I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Randomize
