When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
