I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I want her autograph on my taint
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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