y did u give ur computer a hand job?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
What drink are we having for lunch?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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