have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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