Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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