If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
