just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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