either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
