I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
