I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
worst night to have a conscience
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Bring me that man meat
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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