just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
