I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
