i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Where did you get a picture of my penis
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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