Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
