Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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