Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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