i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
