nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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