WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
