So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
