We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
