im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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