So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
