can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
