i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
